When the Sheet Hits the Fan
Nan returned from her latest Chicago business trip with a set of 1000-thread count cotton sheets that she found on sale. Nice white sheets with a 3-inch lace trim at the top.
Setting the stage for our first experience with these new sheets:
(a) Nan had an appointment with her allergist who prescribed a new inhaler so she returns from her office with a big case of the jitters and complaining that the new inhaler is comparable to shooting up straight caffeine. Later, as I give up on reading and TV and head for bed, I find her at the kitchen counter playing some bubble game on her cell phone. She never does that anything like that but blames it on being hyper from the medication.
(b) She always has the ceiling fan on in our bedroom – which causes me to wake up with my head congested. So -
We go to bed, snuggled up in our new 1000-thread count bedding and I pulled the sheet up over my head, as I always do to keep the artificial breeze away.
Just as I doze off, several spiders attempting to crawl up my nose attack me! Struggling to awaken, I flay my arms around to fight them off and embarrassingly realize that the spiders have morphed into the lace trim on our new 1000-thread count sheets.
Sheesh!
Naturally this disturbs Nan, who turns over, taking the sheet with her and pulling all 1000 counts of thread across my face.
Ouch! Rope Burn!
And this is only a preview of the night. As she is extremely restless and hyper, I get a full night of the sheet being pulled across my face and morning finds me with pretty good 1000-thread count sheet burns.
Can’t wait to get another set of these.
